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Stranger Still

I am looking forward to the unanticipated future. My peripheral vision is dim; my vision of reality is skewed with irrelevant information.  One minute I am here at home, conscious, and then the next minute I am unresponsive and awake somewhere else.  I came to my senses and began asking many questions to fill in the pieces I lost along the way.  If we don’t know where we are, but those around us do, we are not missing. We’re not really lost; we know we’re somewhere.  The question is where that somewhere is in relation to where we wanted to be, or where we expected to be. I was only missing in my mind, and only lost for a time. When I inquired of my location I found myself where I was. I was somewhere now, but somewhere unexpected.  Can we find out where we are when we are nowhere to be found?  I have since discovered my proprietor called the emergency response when I hit my head and passed out. I figured such an adamant attitude to find me would only be because I still had to remunerate what needed to be remunerated. I’ve come to expect the demands that are placed upon me.  I didn’t expect however the kindness that ensued. It wasn’t likely that I would be found lying lifeless on the side of my bed.  I didn’t expect to end up there, so I didn’t expect to be found there. I appreciate that what was unanticipated led to what was unexpected. You may not be expecting someone to provide you a lifeline but you appreciate the offer when given the assistance.  I suppose when you are old you may expect to die, but you don’t look forward to it.  Your future is only dim when your vision of it grows old.  I know I can look to the future with anticipation if I expect what I don’t anticipate.  My recovery has been very restorative I know where I am going and I can see straight ahead.  What I experienced, what I am experiencing and what I will experience are all in a straight line set out in front of me. As I walk this line, I may turn to the left, or turn to the right to see what is happening around me, what others do for me and what I do for others. If we are aware of how what we do helps us to do what we do, then our support system expands and our future swells into a spherical array. Our life is not only ours to hold, to shape to mold, but who we are, what we do and what will become of us, is all a part of the lives we hold, the ones we shape and those we mold. We can look forward to our future, if we don’t suppose what is supposed to happen, and if we anticipate what we don’t expect.

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